Bly.com Newsletter Archives An archived collection of Bob Bly’s Direct Marketing Newsletter

8/16/2002

ARE YOUR SENTENCES TOO LONG?

Filed under: General — site admin @ 5:58 pm

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Bob Bly?s Direct Response Letter
Resources, ideas, and tips for improving response to business-
to-business, high-tech, industrial, Internet, and direct
marketing.

August, 2002
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You are getting this e-mail because you subscribed to it on
www.bly.com or because you are one of Bob?s clients, prospects,
seminar attendees, or book buyers. If you would prefer not to
receive further e-mails of this type, go to www.bly.com, enter
your e-mail address, and hit Unsubscribe.
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ARE YOUR SENTENCES TOO LONG?

The ?Breath Test? can determine whether your sentences are too
wordy. How it works: *Without* inhaling, read the sentence
aloud. If you run out of breath before you get to the end, the
sentence is too long.

The solution: Use a dash (–) or ellipses (…) to break the
sentence into two or more parts. Or rewrite it as two or more
shorter sentences. Doing so will make your writing livelier,
more conversational — and easier to read.
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10 BUSINESS SUCCESS PRINCIPLES THAT STILL APPLY IN THE INTERNET
AGE

1) Customers matter.
2) One day, revenue needs to exceed costs.
3) Trust is the basis of business relationships.
4) There are only 24 hours in a day.
5) There will always be value in brands.
6) There will always be competition.
7) People are self-interested. So are companies.
8) People need a powerful incentive to change their behavior.
9) Sex sells.
10) No one really wants a relationship with a telephone company.

–Cited in Business 2.0 magazine
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A CORRECTION — AND AN APOLOGY

In the last issue of this e-zine, the ?Reason for Being?
technique should have been attributed to John Forde and Michael
Masterson, not Michael alone. My mistake. Apologies to John.

If you didn?t get my last issue with the ?Reason for Being?
article, go to the e-zine subscription sign-up box on
www.bly.com. You can read back issues there online.
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

?Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must
first be overcome.?
–Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
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E-ZINE OF THE MONTH

Speaking of e-zines, super entrepreneur Michael Masterson
writes a wonderfully informative daily e-zine, Early to Rise,
covering a wide range of topics, but mainly success, wealth,
and entrepreneurship. For more information click on this link:
www.earlytorise.com/bly

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UPCOMING LEARNING ANNEX CLASSES

I?ll be teaching two classes for the Learning Annex this month –
– ?How to Get Out of a Slump? on 8/13 and ?Secrets of a
Freelance Writer: How to Make $100,000 a Year? on 8/20.

Both classes run from 6:30 pm to 9:30 pm in New York City. To
register, call the Learning Annex at 212-371-0280.

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THE ADVERTISING SHOW

I recently talked about how to write effective copy on the
Houston radio program, ?The Advertising Show.? If you want to
hear it, call Fern Dickey at 201-797-8105 and order our tape
#829 using your credit card. List price is $15, but it is yours
for $10 if you call now.

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IT?S THE LAW…

** In Alabama, it is a felony to cut off your arm so as to make
people feel sorry for you and give you money.

** In Troutdale, Oregon, it is illegal to fight in a river.

** If you intentionally burp in a church in Nevada, you are
breaking the law.

–Jeff Koon & Andy Powell, ?101 Real Dumb Laws? (Free Press)

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TWO FREE SEMINARS WITH ROGER C. PARKER

My good friend Roger C. Parker, a world-class expert in desktop
design and marketing, is giving two free 60-minute
teleconferences this month. I?m going to take both, and
recommend you do too. They are:

?Profit From the Author Inside You: Write that Book and Boost
that Career!? Tuesday, August 6, 8:00 PM EST
Register via e-mail at: Resources@NewEntrepreneur.com

?Profit from the One-Page Newsletter: Build Sales and Cut
Costs!? Thursday, August 8, 8:00 PM EST
Register via e-mail at: OnePageNews@aol.com

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VENDOR OF THE MONTH

Want to teach your employees business or technical writing? I
recommend The Communication Workshop. This training firm offers
on-site business and technical writing seminars at companies
across the United States. Owner Gary Blake and I have written
six books together including ?The Elements of Business
Writing,? which has sold more than 100,000 copies. Mention my
name and Gary will send you a FREE poster, “Grammar at a
Glance.” Just e-mail garyblake@aol.com or phone 516-767-9590.

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NEW GUIDE GIVES YOU THE SCOOP ON 400+ MARKETING WEB SITES

Larry Chase, publisher of the enormously valuable e-zine Web
Digest for Marketers, has just published a new e-book, ?Need-to-
Know Marketing Sites from Web Digest for Marketers.? It?s a
digital desktop reference guide that gives you access to more
than 400 Web sites that can help you with every aspect of your
marketing, from affiliate programs to PR. For more information
go to:
http://www.wdfm.com/n2k/FYINeedtoKnow5.htm

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60-SECOND COMMERCIAL FROM FERN DICKEY, OFFICE MANAGER:

Bob is available on a limited basis for copywriting of direct
mail packages, sales letters, brochures, ads, e-mail marketing
campaigns, PR materials, white papers, and Web pages. We
recommend you call for a FREE copy of our updated Copywriting
Information Kit. Just let us know your industry and the type of
copy you?re interested in seeing (ads, mailings, etc.), and if
Bob is available to take your assignment, we?ll tailor a
package of recent samples to fit your requirements. Call Fern
Dickey at 201-797-8105 or e-mail dickeybf@aol.com.

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Bob Bly 22 E. Quackenbush Ave.
Copywriter/consultant Dumont, NJ 07628
rwbly@bly.com phone 201-385-1220
www.bly.com fax 201-385-1138
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