{"id":472,"date":"2009-07-29T10:35:16","date_gmt":"2009-07-29T15:35:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bly.com\/blog\/writing\/the-2-inviolate-rules-of-asking-strangers-for-help\/"},"modified":"2009-07-29T10:39:45","modified_gmt":"2009-07-29T15:39:45","slug":"the-2-inviolate-rules-of-asking-strangers-for-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/writing\/the-2-inviolate-rules-of-asking-strangers-for-help\/","title":{"rendered":"The 2 Inviolate Rules of Asking Strangers for Help"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Virtually every day I get at least one phone call or e-mail from some stranger asking for my help or advice or to answer a question &#8230; with 99% of them, of course, not offering to PAY me for my time and trouble.<\/p>\n<p>If you want to approach someone you view as an expert or guru to ask a question or get advice, here are the 2 rules you should follow to maximize your chances of getting a positive response:<\/p>\n<p>1&#8211;Don&#8217;t waste the person&#8217;s time.<\/p>\n<p>2&#8211;Be cooperative.<\/p>\n<p>ML, who called me just a few minutes ago, violated both these rules in short order.<\/p>\n<p>She was looking for a ghostwriter to help her write her memoirs. It&#8217;s a service I don&#8217;t offer. I told her so immediately, and offered to hook her up with a ghostwriter who could help her (I know several good ones).<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, let me tell you my story,&#8221; she interrupted, and began telling me about her adventures in WWII as a nurse or whatever her book was about.<\/p>\n<p>Why? I already said I was not the one to do the job. Why would I be interested?<\/p>\n<p>So I cut her off, not because I am rude, but because I am extremely busy, asking her to go online to the Vendors page on my site so I could show her who to call.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh, I hate the web and e-mail and all that stuff,&#8221; she told me, indicating that she couldn&#8217;t be bothered to do as I instructed.<\/p>\n<p>I gave her the URL anyway and wished her luck.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What is it you do?&#8221; she asked me, like I have the inclination or time to chat with her while deadlines press in all around me.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m a copywriter,&#8221; I answered.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What is that?&#8221; she asked, as if I now would spend time giving her a tutorial in the writing profession.<\/p>\n<p>When I told her she could find out everything she needed to know about my services again on my web site, she seemed stunned, and I politely wished her luck and ended the call.<\/p>\n<p>My colleague CM, a top copywriter, tells of similar experiences, where readers of his newsletter get angry that he won&#8217;t stop what he is doing to hear them read their headlines to him and get a quick opinion &#8212; all without paying him, of course.<\/p>\n<p>CM is less calm about this than I am. &#8220;Don&#8217;t they $#%*&#038;* realize my TIME is for my PAYING clients?!&#8221; CM complained to me.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of our readers &#8212; people who get our free newsletters but do NOT buy or services OR our paid products &#8212; ask for our help, and are surprised and offended when we put limits on the free help we are willing to offer.<\/p>\n<p>Would you ask a dentist you didn&#8217;t go to to examine your teeth for free? Would you ask a gas station where you DID buy gasoline to fix your engine for free?<\/p>\n<p>Then why expect a writer to work for free?<\/p>\n<p>Harlan Ellison says it best: &#8220;The writer should be paid.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Do you agree? Disagree? Why?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Virtually every day I get at least one phone call or e-mail from some stranger asking for my help or advice or to answer a question &#8230; with 99% of them, of course, not offering to PAY me for my time and trouble. If you want to approach someone you view as an expert or [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1848,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1848"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=472"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/472\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}