My Dispute with Angus
September 9th, 2008 by Bob Bly
A few minutes ago I got an e-mail from Angus, one of my e-zine subscribers, who objected to the frequency with which I send e-mail marketing messages to him.
“I don’t mind getting your offers, but you are sending too f@#$%ing many,” said Andre (using the F-word).
I replied, “There is no need to use abusive language with me” and told him I would unsubscribe him immediately.
He replied that I was coming off to him as “rude” and “thin-skinned.”
Folks, I think we have entered the Twilight Zone here.
This guy e-mails me an e-mail with an obscenity … but it’s ME, not him, who’s rude?
Anybody see a disconnect here?
There are many things I love about the Internet.
But one thing I dislike is how the anonymity of e-mail emboldens some folks to lose all inhibition, and say anything they please — things they would never dream of saying face to face unless they were looking to start an altercation.
Am I right saying that Angus, not me, is the rude one here?
Or am I so out of touch that Netiquette today says it’s fine to use profanities when e-mailing strangers?
This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 at 12:58 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
September 9th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I think the high road is the better approach. As for being rude, yes he was. To call attention to it – we must learn to ignore it and set an example. Just as in real life.
September 9th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I think we should not be rude in return. Nor should we ignore it. We should not permit people to treat us shabbily. If Angus wouldn’t speak to his mother this way, he shouldn’t speak to me that way, either.
September 9th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
It’s a waste of time to give any attention to people like that. Just blacklist him from your newsletter and move on. Engaging the trolls only encourages them.
September 9th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Angus is vocabularly challenged. He apparently does not know what constitutes rudeness or being thin-skinned. Plus, he doesn’t understand that if someone uses profanity in what should be polite business correspondence, it is not rude to politely call that person on it.
You’re clearly in the right. But there’s no need to dwell on it.
As a cleaned up version of one of my wife’s favorite sayings puts it: for you, he only ruined one day, but he’ll be an idiot the rest of his life.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Ignore the guy’s language, but…the most important learning I guess is how often are you emailing your list then? How much is too much?
September 9th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
I’m with you, Bob. Beats me how someone can invade your in-box with the F word and then complain that you are thin-skinned.
With his clueless attitude, I don’t think Angus would benefit from your products anyway.
September 9th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Bob, you’re right; he was rude. And cursing like that is unprofessional. I hope for his colleagues’ and clients’ sakes, he doesn’t routinely conduct business like that.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
The perception of “rudeness” is varied and will change depending on a person’s upbringing, beliefs, etc…so yes, you are right and yes, he is right.
September 10th, 2008 at 12:29 am
Bob;
The downside to having a lot of subscribers is…
A lot of opinions.
Mike
September 10th, 2008 at 7:34 am
Michael: Of course, that’s also the upside….
Ken: I disagree that it is a matter of perception. If you think it is OK to use the F-word with a merchant or service provider because you have a complaint, I would say your thinking is in conflict with the accepted norms of behavior in our society.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:28 am
I say you’re right, Bob. My husband is an IT department professional working for a company who doesn’t follow some of the “rules”. We aren’t originally from here. It drives him insane to see a CEO, or anyone lower in management even, making a sexist or racist remark or using profanity in the workplace. (Yes, they do get called on it and then things get really interesting. *grin* )
Contacting a business person by internet is no different.
But I’ve met some of those people face to face, and I believe the best you can do is be yourself and ignore their outburst. Unfortunately, it’s also correct that with some you eventually just have to ignore them or blacklist them, as in this case. Because they otherwise won’t stop.
Fiction writers get it all the time. One I know of – Holly Lisle – has many fiction books out. She’s made her living writing fiction for years, and her way of “paying it forward” is to use her talents to teach others to do the same thing. She often gets some very not-so-nice emails about how she dares to pretend that she’s qualified to teach others and charge for her products. If she’s not qualified in this area, then no one is.
By the way, I love your emails. How else will I know what’s out there on my busy schedule? My favorite of the latest is “Who is the Greatest Copywriter?” That one I had to make a physical copy of to make sure I had the information.
September 10th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Dina: David Halbestram wrote words to the effect that we live in a “coarser, cruder” society. Long range, I believe the implications are severely destructive, leading first to verbal disrespect and abuse, and then to behavioral and physical.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Bob,
First things first. I have read a lot of your material and it’s fantastic, all of it. The last thing you should do is take the comments from Angus personally.
Using profanity is always unprofessional and should never be acceptable behavior. However,
Bob when you look behind Angus’ vale of profanity you’ll find someone who is very frustrated with some thing.
At this point you have two options.
#1. Tell him to walk west till his hat floats.
#2. Email him and ask him: “Is it my emails that bother you or are you frustrated about some thing else?
Bob, if you can find a way to help him you will be remembered as someone who was more that just a great copywriter.
September 10th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Bob, I agree. When people do not watch what comes out of their mouth, it can lead to (or be a sign of) an inability to regulate themselves in other aspects of life. These individuals often are stuck in situations where they are unhappy and using the language in anger, defensiveness, or resentment. When we give in to not controlling our tongues, we also risk not having the fortitude to grow in other ways.
I’ve also seen and been around people who use the f-word and use blasphemy because it is normal speech to them. Most of these people are not business people, but those raised in the more working environments where there is less emphasis on things like being politically correct and mindful of everyone’s particular sensitivities. (or some isolated environments too) As with all groups of people, some were useless and others would happily give you everything they own if you asked.
If this Angus is going to deal with people on the internet, he needs to refrain from that language. And, if he’s using it and is that defensive about it, I get the feeling that he wouldn’t listen to your emails anyway. Not in your target audience area.
And I thought your reply wasn’t rude at all. He obviously doesn’t like someone being honest with him when it points out a flaw that he has. A confident individual who’s honest with himself and working to better his life would have apologized and made an effort to not make the same mistake again, rather than going on the defensive.
Brad’s right … not much that can be done about it unless you see something worth going that extra mile or two more to help this individual with.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
I belive that using obsenities is inappropriate in all instances. Including all business communication.
Bob you are not out of touch with modern Nettiquette, but I think Angus and many others could use a few more words in their vocabulary to assist with communicating effectively.
In this instant the ‘F word’ could be removed from teeh sentence and it still hold true to his thoughts.
Obsenities add nothing to your communication, and nothing to your personal character.
Fiona Fell
The Profit Maximising Web Geek
September 11th, 2008 at 7:06 am
Fiona, I agree with you 100%. I am frankly amazed some people actually think this is a debatable issue, and that using obscenities is permissible in some business situations.
October 10th, 2008 at 1:05 am
You’re right about the anonymity thing. It makes otherwise smart and prudent people into rude and insulting cretins.
That’s why I love the delete button as well.
August 13th, 2013 at 6:22 am
You need to take part in a contest for one of the finest websites online. I am going to highly recommend this website!
April 3rd, 2021 at 5:44 am
I’ve gained informative new things, thanks sharing this and enhancing my knowledge,our web log isn’t only useful but it is additionally really creative too.
June 10th, 2021 at 5:32 am
The essentials of the resume template work are introduced for the success of the students. This template is widely informed for the chunks. The colorful shape of the template is liked and approved for the majority of the shots.
June 11th, 2021 at 5:25 pm
We recognize the flat snoot, wrinkled face, and large expressive eyes of the loveable Pug. The Pug breed’s roots can be tracked back to Imperial China in 700 B.C., during the time of Confucius, when the breed was known as lo-sze. Imported to England in the 16th century, the breed quickly became a popular lap dog among the aristocracy. A Pug named Pompey is even credited with alerting Holland’s William I, Prince of Orange, to an assassination attempt by Spain. Over time, pugs have been the favored breed or both royals and celebrities—from Napoleon and Queen Victoria to Andy Warhol and Rob Zombie.
https://pugslandbreeder.company.com
June 13th, 2022 at 2:53 am
Your article is great, I have read a lot of articles but I was really impressed with your writing. Thank you, I will review this post. To get to know me, please try to talk to me.
July 2nd, 2022 at 5:15 pm
In this video I wanted to share 3 amazing face pack by using gram flour. That will instantly give you bright and glowing skin. This face pack is suitable for all skin type and will lighten the skin tone.
July 4th, 2022 at 3:21 pm
Dil Ki Baat Kahin Lab Pe Na Aa Jaaye Lyrics from Teri Kasam is sung by Amit Kumar. Dil Ki Baat Kahin Lab Pe Na Aa Jaaye song lyrics are written by Anand Bakshi while its music is given by R D Burman.
October 4th, 2022 at 8:16 am
General look and out geared element is promoted for the agents. The reforms of the allegro bus are invited for the race. Rate is fit for the investigation for the top of the reforms for the citizens.
November 23rd, 2022 at 2:07 pm
The best Appliance Repair Issaquah is Superior Appliance. With more than four decades of experience, they can repair your appliances appropriately without any worries. They repair your refrigerators, dryers, dishwashers, washers, and dryers without causing you any trouble.
February 1st, 2023 at 12:49 pm
Highway Fashion brings an amazing collection of sale on brands online in all over Pakistan. The Highway Fashion store constantly offers their customers amazing sales on different brands. So, Grab your favorite dress today at discounted prices.
May 5th, 2023 at 3:33 am
Online multiplayer battle royale game called Stumble guys! Online races between up to 32 players feature frantic obstacle courses.
July 26th, 2023 at 2:20 am
If you love fish-related games, try tiny fishing to try it out and experience the fun
July 26th, 2023 at 2:21 am
If you love fish-related games, try tiny fishing to try it out and experience the fun
October 18th, 2023 at 11:29 pm
Celebrate the upcoming arrival of a precious little one with our range of unisex baby shower gifts. These thoughtful presents are perfect for baby showers where the gender of the baby is not revealed or for families who prefer gender-neutral options. Show your excitement and love with a gift that will make the baby shower even more special.
October 30th, 2023 at 4:11 am
Swiftle is a game for Taylor Swift fans who love to guess her songs by listening to short clips. The game is inspired by Wordle, a popular word puzzle game, but with a musical twist. Swiftle challenges players to identify a Taylor Swift song in six tries or less, by listening to a clip that starts from one second and gets longer with each wrong guess. The clip can come from any part of the song, so players need to have a good ear and a vast knowledge of Taylor Swift’s discography. Swiftle also allows players to share their results on social media, using emojis to represent the song title and the number of tries.
November 15th, 2023 at 2:41 am
Business Consultancy and Services. Our team is committed to enhancing your company’s revenue and efficiency through comprehensive advisory, strategic planning, and process optimization. Whether you need help with market entry strategies or performance improvement, we’ve got you covered with end-to-end solutions.
December 5th, 2023 at 6:30 am
Looking for a reliable Scrap buyer in UAE? Look no further! At We Buy Dead Stocks, we are your go-to destination for efficient and hassle-free scrap purchasing services. With our extensive expertise and commitment to customer satisfaction, we ensure a seamless experience when it comes to selling your scrap materials.
December 6th, 2023 at 11:59 pm
A Maniküre Tisch is a manicure table. It’s a dedicated piece of furniture used in beauty salons and nail studios for performing professional manicure services. These tables are designed for the convenience of both the technician and the client.
December 28th, 2023 at 1:56 am
I think we have entered the Twilight Zone here. only up
January 9th, 2024 at 10:32 pm
Engross yourself in the addictive world of Wordle where each attempt is a step closer to conquering the daily word puzzle.
January 10th, 2024 at 5:34 am
Reputable home improvement retailer Lowes has been in business since 1946. With more than 2,200 locations in the US and Canada, Lowes is dedicated to assisting consumers in making improvements to their homes. They have a large selection of goods, ranging from paint and gardening materials to appliances and equipment.lows-surveycom.online
January 20th, 2024 at 3:32 pm
Stay informed about government incentives and programs promoting energy-efficient appliances and sustainable practices. Top Thermador Repair Services in Atlanta: How to Choose the Right One
January 28th, 2024 at 11:51 pm
Very nice, indeed.
Spinner Tools
March 27th, 2024 at 2:28 am
Welcome to Ginkgo Retail, where convenience meets diversity in a vibrant marketplace. Our Multi Vendor Marketplace offers an unmatched assortment of products from handpicked vendors. Shop with ease, knowing you’re supporting small businesses while enjoying the convenience of one-stop shopping. Discover unique finds, from fashion to home decor, and everything in between. Join our community and experience the excitement of Ginkgo Retail’s Multi Vendor Marketplace today!
May 3rd, 2024 at 11:11 pm
Games often incorporate Spotle artistic elements that inspire players to express themselves creatively.
May 4th, 2024 at 12:39 pm
Anyone else think Build Now GG could be the next big thing in online gaming? The build-and-shoot genre is really taking off.
May 6th, 2024 at 3:33 am
Playing infinite craft is not just about creating external worlds but also about embarking on a journey of self-discovery.
May 8th, 2024 at 12:19 am
At BSNS Consulting, we offer you unparalleled Business Advisory Services near me. Our team of expert consultants is dedicated to providing personalised solutions that drive growth and success for your business. Whether you’re a startup or an established company, our strategic insights and industry knowledge will empower you to make informed decisions and achieve your goals.
May 8th, 2024 at 2:59 am
E-commerce logistics refers to the specialized processes and strategies involved in managing the flow of goods for online retail operations. It encompasses warehousing, inventory management, order fulfillment, shipping, and returns processing tailored to the unique demands of online shopping. Efficient e-commerce logistics are crucial for ensuring timely deliveries, minimizing costs, and enhancing customer satisfaction in the digital retail landscape.
May 16th, 2024 at 9:59 am
Experience the beauty and craftsmanship of our jewelry at our showroom.
June 27th, 2024 at 1:40 am
Players often form strong Geometry Dash communities and friendships, both online and offline, through shared gaming experiences.
September 15th, 2024 at 9:29 pm
The gameplay is simple to learn but hard to master. That’s the magic of geometry dash—anyone can pick it up, but few can conquer it.
September 17th, 2024 at 10:42 pm
Managing the salary cap and improving my roster in Retro Bowl Unblocked adds a layer of strategy I enjoy.
October 2nd, 2024 at 7:34 am
I can understand how disputes like this can get frustrating. When I need a break from the stress, I usually play some games on poki games to clear my head. It’s a great way to relax before coming back with a fresh perspective!
October 9th, 2024 at 1:03 pm
I would like to say that this blog really convinced me to do it! Thanks, very good post. online block blast
November 14th, 2024 at 4:12 am
Interesting take! I’ve had a similar experience sometimes it feels like resolving disputes is as tricky as finishing a game of spider solitaire. You think you’re close, but there’s always another layer to untangle!
November 16th, 2024 at 7:58 am
I’m sorry to hear about your frustrating experience with Angus. Handling such interactions can indeed be challenging, much like navigating the competitive environment in Agario. Just as in Agario, where strategic moves and maintaining composure are essential to thrive, responding to aggressive emails requires patience and tact to de-escalate the situation. It’s important to set clear boundaries and not let negativity affect your overall approach, similar to how you avoid getting eaten by larger cells in Agario. By maintaining professionalism and focusing on positive interactions, you can ensure your e-zine remains a welcoming space for your subscribers.
November 28th, 2024 at 12:49 am
By using Tubidy, you can find all your favorite songs and download them with ease for offline listening.
November 28th, 2024 at 12:50 am
For anyone wanting quick access to MP3 downloads, Tubidy offers a reliable way to enjoy music offline.
December 1st, 2024 at 10:31 pm
Golf Orbit is a fun golf game where players can connect and build strong social relationships, both online and offline. Through competitive matches, players regularly interact, share playing experiences and create memorable memories. Collaborating in challenges and supporting each other not only helps improve golf skills but also strengthens friendships, making Golf Orbit a close-knit and vibrant community.
December 3rd, 2024 at 3:22 am
Known for their simple, accessible gameplay, flash games provide quick entertainment experiences with a variety of genres such as action, puzzle, adventure, and simulation. These games are usually free, have moderate length, and do not require high hardware, suitable for players of all ages and are especially attractive due to their convenience.
December 12th, 2024 at 1:23 am
Thank you for posting that it could be just the thing to give inspiration to someone who needs it! Keep up the great work!
January 2nd, 2025 at 3:31 pm
Great insights on handling disputes professionally. It’s always inspiring to read about real experiences and take lessons from them. On a lighter note, balancing work and a bit of fun with friv games can help clear the mind and stay productive. Thanks for sharing!
March 27th, 2025 at 9:45 pm
The language style is relaxed and humorous, making it stress-free to read
May 19th, 2025 at 12:00 am
What sets Crazy Cattle 3D apart from the herd is its hilarious and surprisingly deep movement system. You don’t just walk—you launch, slide, roll, bounce, and sometimes pirouette (accidentally, of course) across the terrain.